MY EYEBAGS ARE CHEAPER THAN YOUR SECOND HAND PRADA BAG

HELLO MY FAITHFUL READERS!

Yes, you! you two!

 My ultra-orgasmic faithful readers. Meloi and Titit. Two not-so little pigs. Two slimming pigs. Two fat things that I wish were my boobs.

What was I up to for the seven months that I was not able to properly write things on my blog, you ask? Those times when you said you missed my writing, wanting me so much to write. Well, I’ve been reading things.

For seven or so months, I submerged myself into the pools of literary waters. That black, crystal ocean not all understands, not all able to decipher. See these two fat curves hanging under my eyes? They are the results of reading three Anne Rice (two novels, The Vampire Lestat and Queen of the Damned and one erotica Beauty’s Punishment), Mitch Albohm (Tuesdays With Morrie), Emily Brontë (Wuthering Heights), Lewis Carroll (Alice in the Wonderland), Annie Dillard (An American Childhood), collected poems by Ricardo de Ungria (Waking Ice and Pedgin Leviations), essays by Jessica Zafra (Twisted 6 and Tw7sted), collection of short stories edited by Noelle de Jesus (Fast Food Fiction) and David Thornburn (Initiation), Wikipedia.com and Microsoft Encarta articles, two comic strips collection by Manix Abrera (Kiko Machine vol.1 and vol.2) and many more readings from Survey of English Literature II and Survey of Philippine Literature in English I. There are more works and figures I’ve read that I forgot to mention, more interesting reads than what I could remember. These things are so addictive, like white caffeine, they can keep me awake for three straight days.

Three days straight without sleep makes one boy hell of a gothic trash. These two dark curves hanging under my eyes, so vampiric, they are also the results of watching too many television series and movies from pirated DVDs. There were Prison Break Season I and II, The Avatar Season II, Monster Episode 1–74, Fushigi Yuugi, One Piece, Miyazaki Hayao and Studio Gbili movies (My Neighbor Totoro, Grave of the Fireflies, Spirited Away, Howl’s Moving Castle, Princess Monoke, I Can Hear the Ocean, Whisper of the Heart, Kiki’s Delivery Service, etc.), Tim Burton (Edward Scissorhand, Betelgeuse, Nightmare Before Chritmas, Finding Neverland, Big Fish, Bride Corpse and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), two arthouse (Short Bus and Anatomie d’Lenfer) and many lousy films. Hear that word shooting like pop corn. It’s everywhere. Lousy. Lousy. Lousy.

Lousy music seems to affect my eyes, too. I can’t listen to rock music anymore because every time I hear bass, drums and electric guitar, they automatically register a crop of hair bangs to my mind. I’m so appalled by the emo phenomena that every scream I hear, I see an eyeliner kid being crucified upside down. Not that I’m grossed out, or being so uncool, it’s just that I don’t want to evoke my sado-pedophilic tendency, especially to those sensitive boys crying because they wish to be a gum under a chair. So I went back to the local FM stations, their everywhere pop music and their senseless deejays. In jeepneys, I don’t get too close to the speakers. I can smell their breaths. But I am loving what they do to me, keeping me awake for nights, making me lie down on my bed, stare at the ceiling wide-eyes.

Wait! Wait! Wait!

 Why am I writing again? Who do I write for? I’m curious. Maybe you two, Meloi and Titit, are just playing with me. Wanting me so much to write, telling me how much you missed my writing. Maybe you two are these ugly things under my eyes, two fat things, one for each eye. Well, let me tell you, you two dark curves hanging under my eyes, two fat things that I wish were my boobs, I’m… I’m… I’m… I’m so loving you. You are doing things that you are unaware of that lift up my mood.

People say, “So gothic, the eyes. Where did you get those dark eye bags, emo kid?”

I say, “From my seven-month-old entertainment waste basket and my two fine friends.”

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*disclaimer: I am not emo nor gothic. i just look horrible.